There was a scare started in 2021 that I almost got into a major surgery to get rid of my female productive organ. Throughout my journey, I believe that it was GOD’s guidance and HIS healing hands to get me out of it.
I also believe that HE wants me to use my channel to witness HIS power.
Therefore, I am sharing my story here with you. The format here is like a diary form. The purpose is to show you that if you are not in a life-threatening situation, you could possibly need to go through a lot of tests before making that final decision. It does not mean that these are the exact tests you will go through because different people have different situations. And your doctor will help you along to decide what kind of tests are needed.
Besides, the diary showed you all the experiences with God. Every step of the way, HE was there with me. With prayers, HE will also walk with you and guide you to the right path.
Throughout the entire story, I hope you can learn the following:
1. GOD is powerful. Whether you are a Christian or not, I highly encourage you to give GOD a try. HE is trustworthy and will be on your side. But you MUST believe and have faith in HIM.
And look at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with GOD all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26
2. Second opinion is very important. I cannot emphasize enough how imperative this is.
Before we dive into my story, please bear in mind. No matter what decision you are going to make, it needs work. You need to think, research, gather the facts and do analysis in details. Believe that GOD is with you every step.
James 2: 14-26 Faith without Deed is dead.
Here is my testimony.
I went to have my annual physical. About a week later, I got a call from the nurse telling me that my pap test result was not good. It was very abnormal and I needed to go to see a specialist.
She asked if I had any preference. I was thinking the obstetrician-gynecologists (OBGYN) who delivered my only son. At the time, I totally forgot the reason why I stopped going there many years ago, but switching over to do it through my general practice instead.
After so many months of trying to get the original pap test result over to the OBGYN and re-scheduling appointments, the OBGYN asked me to do an in-office biopsy. Yes, 6 months had passed since I got that first phone call from the nurse.
Some doctor offices are not really on top of everything. Before your appointment, you want to make sure that your doctor has all the records he/she needs. It never hurts to give them a call to follow up. It took over 4 weeks for this OBGYN to finally confirm having all my medical records in his office computer/network.
2 weeks later, the doc called and told me that the result was really bad. It looked like there was a minor cancer attack. But he didn't want to tell me to do anything yet until I went into the hospital to do a cone biopsy. It was a small surgery that I would be discharged in a few hours and get back to work on the same day.
When you heard of that "c" word, you would be scared even though technology nowadays may be able to take care of it. From then on, I kept telling GOD, "No matter what the outcome is, I know that YOU are going to have something good happen to either me or my family as YOU planned." I believe that this helped me to go on my daily life and keep working. Believe me, it is very stressful when you have something so mysterious on top of your head.
And since the phone call from the doctor, my husband, Perry, has been praying for me every morning. His prayer is along the line to ask GOD, "Please heal Janny cell by cell through the hands of Dr. C. And we will give YOU glory. And when the doctor received the result after her procedure, the doctor will not be able to explain what happened." I heard that prayer many times before I stepped into the hospital that morning 4 days before Christmas.
Before the procedure in the hospital, we didn't tell anyone. We didn't even tell our 12-year-old until 2 days before. We thought that we didn't know what exactly happened until the procedure is done. Why make somebody stressed out for nothing, right? Of course, after our son learned about it, he was very worried and even asked, "You are going to have surgery. Is it something bad?" All we could tell him was, "We didn't know. That's the reason why I need to go to the hospital to find out."
Honestly, sharing your situation with someone in the family is your call. For children, it depends on their age and maturity. My husband and I struggled a lot before we finally decided to share the info with our only son. We had no choice at the time because that day happened to be online classroom. It was not like he went to school and I stepped into the hospital without him around.
I went to hospital and did the cone biopsy.
Those 3 weeks after the surgery, I kept telling myself, "If the result was bad, the doc would have called by now. No news means good news." I also talked to GOD here and there just like I have been doing since that phone call early in November. Perry kept praying of that same prayer every morning.
I went to my post-op appointment to see the OBGYN (3 weeks after the cone biopsy procedure).
My OBGYN has been telling me for several times before the surgery that he would give me a call when he got the results. It was expected about a week right after the procedure. He didn’t share the info until I went in to see him today. When I finally went in for the appointment, I asked him, “Do you have the results?” His answer was, “Yes, I told you that I will tell you when you came in.” It was a complete 180 degree difference of his attitude in a bad way. No, I didn't throw his words back to him. I don't normally talk back. But his action kept building up my distrust of his advice.
When it comes to any professionals, no matter in what fields, if you feel that there is something wrong, you need to start looking for a replacement. That bad feeling rarely steers you to the wrong direction, but the correct one.
The doc told me in his office, "Your result came back and everything looks ok. But what bothers me is that there is a discrepancy between your 2 biopsy results. I am going to ask the pathologist to review your first biopsy again." The cone biopsy result was better than the first one. Throughout the short conversation with the OBGYN, he emphasized how much he was bothered with the result. At that moment, I was thinking in the back of my head, "Thank you, Lord. You healed me." The doctor still needed me to go back for a follow-up 3 months later.
After getting back home, I told Perry of the biopsy result and the conversation with the OBGYN. It finally dawned on me that GOD performed HIS miracle exactly what Perry's prayer was. Perry was ecstatic and singing praise to the LORD. I was relieved. But in the back of my head, I kept telling myself, "I still need to go back to see the OBGYN in 3 months. I am not totally out of the wood yet."
Several days after the last appointment with the OBGYN, I had struggle. I had doubt. I had several conversations with GOD as well. The LORD asked me, "Didn't I show you how powerful I am?" But then, I don't want to let the whole world knows what happened. I don't want my family worry about me or get a phone call from one of them. But it is nagging me that I must get this out because this is what the LORD wants me to do. Last time when the LORD asked me to do something, I didn't follow and missed the boat. I am a very private person that I am sure many of you just like me that you don’t like to have the whole world knows everything about yourself.
Then, when I was at church that Sunday, I realized that signs were everywhere telling me that I must get this out. That was the first time for me to witness and posted my story on social media.
Luke 1:37 For nothing will be impossible with GOD.
Although I have been a Catholic since 1994, I had never had that kind of close relationship with GOD as this event started to happen. I finally learned that when GOD asked me to do or not to do something, I must follow. Or you will have consequences. So when GOD asked me to share my story on social media, at least all those people I know, I went ahead to do it even though I didn't want to. GOD, Our Father, is just like our earthly parent. We must obey.
Just under a week after my last appointment with the OBGYN, the doctor called telling me that he had the pathologist to re-do the test for the first biopsy and it turned out the same. So, he went to consult an oncologist who specializes in cervical cancer. And according to this specialist that I should go through the hysterectomy and "be done with it".
On that same day when my OBGYN called, it was a snow day at school. The doctor specifically mentioned that he had more free time than usual because many patients cancelled the appointments. Right after the phone call, my husband and I discussed it. So, we came up several questions. I called the OBGYN office back and hope to talk to the doctor again and ask him questions. He even mentioned to me earlier that if I have any questions before seeing the oncologist, I should feel free to call him and discuss it. Anyway, I was not able to get a hold of him, but just left him a message with the nurse. For almost 2 weeks, he had never called back.
The words used by a doctor could tell if he/she cares. He said, “be done with it”. It didn’t sound right. I was not sure if it was from him or from this oncologist. That was where my doubt came back again. Always listen to your gut feeling.
The word “hysterectomy” appeared in the first call with my OBGYN, instead of the oncologist. As a result, my research about this major and elective surgery started immediately. Knowledge is power. I may not be fully educated about my health issue or knew what kind of healing process at the time that I could go through. But before my first appointment with this oncologist, I was well aware of the tactics oncologists do.
I stumbled on a short video online (I will share all these resources at the end of my story) which prepared me how typical oncologist would have their patients to sign "their required" documents. What it means is that if the patient refuses to sign those documents, the oncologist will not see you. That's how the whole set up is. At the time, I believe that my keyword used didn’t land me on many websites with helpful info. The info I found goes from one extreme to another. But I later found out that it is actually the case. It is very difficult to find info with a neutral voice of opinion.
Today was the day to see the oncologist. Perry was going with me. My OBGYN never called back to answer my questions before this appointment with the oncologist.
There were plenty of forms to fill out before this appointment. 2 forms were not completed because I didn't feel comfortable about it. There was a general consent form which indicated that it was not science and asked to waive their liability. So, when the receptionist asked me for it, I just told her that I didn't feel comfortable about it and it felt like they waived their liability. She tried to "explain" to me to sign it even though I didn't feel like to. It was as expected that what I saw on the video that it is how it is done. Perry told me later that the receptionist was stumbled and tried her best to convince me that I had to sign it.le
As mentioned, I learn about this kind of form from an online video. It is very typical. What I don't like is that the doctor is completely liability-free if patient elects to do this major surgery. In fact, the doctor (my oncologist) in this case did not spend much time to explain the situation at all. But on one of the forms that I signed, it acknowledged that the doctor told me everything already. See how cunning they can be.
While I was waiting in the room after changing, I saw the "clamps" (a.k.a. speculum) on the counter which were covered by towel. Half of them were exposed in the air. I was thinking, "Is she going to use this to put into my body for the pap test or whatever test she was going to do?" If so, that's dirty. My general doctor always has them individually wrapped. The OBGYN has all of them in the drawers categorized by sizes. I don't remember if they were individually wrapped though. But for sure, none of them had ever exposed in the air. Hygienically, I didn't feel comfortable. When she asked me to lay down later, I didn't see if she grabbed it from there. But I did see an empty space among those "clamps". Perry didn't pay attention what she did, but just looking down not to see the routine testing. So, that's the first thing I don't like.
Also, while I was waiting, I also looked at a small "poster" of HPV and cervical cancer. The numbers showing there is super small in %. I didn't do the calculation. But I did point it out to Perry and he said right away, "It's 0.02%." Assume that he has the calculation wrong, it is still 2% which is small. I wish I immediately did the calculation myself at the time.
When the doc finally came into the room, she was very (over-the-top) cheerful and said, "Dr. C (my OBGYN) referred you here. I love that guy. He is my man. He is a nice guy." In the back of my mind, it is a big red light. Then, she told me about what the result was which was totally different from what the OBGYN told me. I told her no. After the appointment and thought it back, I was glad that I spoke up and told her no and challenged her.
If you are the kind of person like me not speak up most of the time, you have to speak up in situation like this. When the oncologist repeated my results in the wrong order, I immediately told her that it was contradicted to the ones I was told by my OBGYN. I believe that she started out with her mistake and she just stuck with it and kept telling me to go through this surgery.
I changed and went into a conference room with my husband waiting for further discussion with this oncologist. Not long after getting into the room and she sat down, she told me that she admitted that she got it wrong and I was right about my biopsy results. She said that she didn't look at the dates. Then, someone knocked on the door. The staff handed her some paper and Perry heard, "BTW, St. Mary (the hospital closest to my house) is available on Feb 28." I didn't catch that. She told me the reason why we can't do the re-test because after the cone surgery, the cervis is getting smaller and smaller. There won't be much left to get another cone surgery again. She has been trying to sell me to do the hysterectomy. Yes, we were all covered with masks. But I saw her eyes on fire like a salesman trying to sell me insurance. When she realized that I didn't buy into it, I could see that "anger" on her eyes was like, "It's waste of my time to close this deal."
Bring along someone with you to see any specialist and second opinion. Even if it was still in shutdown due to COVID, you are very stressed at that moment, having a second ear for support or pay attention of what the doctor says is super important. I must admit that I missed some of the actions. Thankfully, my husband reminded me about it later. If your doctor's office only allows one person per visit, ask if they are ok to do a video call. Use your own smart phone to initiate the call.
Then, I started to look at my questions that I originally planned to ask my OBGYN. Since he never called back before this appointment, I had to ask her. She drew the diagram of where exactly the first and the second biopsy were done. But she was not able to verify that if these 2 biopsys were done at the same area instead of left or right. (Side note: I learned very later on that how the first biopsy was done was based on a "vinegar" kind of liquid where it will show the bad cells area as an indication for the doctor to go in to do it. But this oncologist and my OBGYN at the time had never explained to me.)
She requested to have another pathologist to look at the biopsy results again. She explained a lot more to me what the results meant. Compared to what my OBGYN told me, her explanation was a bit more in details. But it was not simple enough for me or my husband to understand completely. She did say that there was dysplasia. When I asked what exactly it meant, it means abnormal cells. "There are mild, level 2 and level 3. If it's mild, 80% of people will have recovery. If it's level 2 or 3, it will just get worse and worse."
About a week before this appointment, I talked to one of our relatives who had some issues a few years back. The situation is similar enough that she had to go to have a second opinion. She shared with me her experience of what her husband asked the doc, "If that's your wife, what would you tell her?" This question has been hanging in the back of my head for quite a while and somehow it dawned on me to twist this question to ask this oncologist. I asked her, "Have you ever experienced this kind of surgery yourself?" The oncologist shared that after she had her first baby 8 years ago and something happened that one of her ovaries was removed. Then, 2 weeks before our appointment, she went to put in the IUD. It got 2 in there by accident. But she didn't have the exact surgery. Her comment was that things happen.
When I asked, "How long does it take for me to make the decision?" She said that nobody is putting fire on me. I don't have to decide today or tomorrow. But she has emphasized that I may still need to go through this surgery at the end.
She said that having 2 different biopsy results is quite often. I also asked her if there were times that people went through the surgery and it turned out that it was actually not needed. She also said that it happens. To her, it's a good thing. To me, it's not. I also asked if there is any side effect. She said that there won't be. The period will stop. The simple surgery will still have hormone. The radical one may experience bone loss, some people have some hard time to go to pee. But when she showed us the diagram of the simple and radical surgery are basically the same which is very different from what I learned online.
Since I insisted NOT to sign the consent form to do the surgery, it was decided to have a phone appointment with her 2 weeks from now to review the pathologist results again.
I went back to work from home right after this appointment. Funny that 2 hours after the walking out of the oncologist's office, my OBGYN called me. I ignored the first call. And he called back again. Remember he has never called back for almost 2 weeks. The first thing my OBGYN told me, "I didn't forget you. But I was very busy." Judging by the reaction of the oncologist from getting excited to make me to sign the paper to being a bit upset because I insisted not to sign the paper, both my husband and I agreed that these 2 doctors had a conversation immediately right after this morning appointment. I felt like my OBGYN tried to manipulate me to sign the paper to go through the procedure. Whether it was true or not, that phone call didn't sit well with me. I did think about asking GOD if I should have the OBGYN calling back before today's appointment to be an indicator. But then, I thought about that it could possibly be going to the wrong directions. So, I thought that GOD will give me the illuminations one way or the other.
Perry did ask me to write down everything discussed in this appointment while I still remember most of the info. Then, when we go to get the second opinion in the future, we can compare the info apple to apple.
I write my daily diary. So in a way, it was easy for me to type up everything right after that first appointment with the oncologist to record every word she said. If you don't have this habit, I highly recommend you to at least write down the notes in details right after your appointments with each doctor and/or specialist. This helps you to compare notes afterwards. It is very helpful for you to make better decisions for yourself later with the facts in front of you.
Honestly, there was a lot to absorb. I have a lot of doubts of their recommendations based on their findings.
"GOD's Power is Beyond What We Can Ask or Imagine", the title of a daily devotion around this time. GOD is telling me one more time to share the story of what He had done. As much as I want to keep it to myself, GOD said, "No!" So, here I am to share the miracle Our Heavenly Father did to me. GOD has been very good to my family and me the past few years even we were still in the pandemic just like everybody else. We are so blessed. GOD has been showing us over and over again how He works out his plans and gives us His blessing. I believe that whatever He has planned, it will all work out.
There were a few conversation with GOD throughout these few months. As stressful as my health issue has been, I must say that my Christian faith put me at ease in so many ways. Sometimes, I even forget that there is something looming on top of my head.
Through my husband's work insurance, he stumbled on a hotline through which they have medical professionals to discuss and guide you through to make the final decisions of several major surgeries. One of them on their list is hysterectomy. Honestly, I was not sure about it. It did say that if I decided to do the surgery, I will need to pay $1,000 or I will have at least $500 "penalty" of insurance co-pay. I found out this info and just put it aside for now. I am not sure if I will pick up the phone to call the toll-free hotline.
Since the appointment with the GYN oncologist, I didn't feel comfortable. I know that I need to make the decision. The right decision. I have been praying for GOD's illumination. Funny that the same night after meeting that oncologist, I had a dream. But I could barely remember what it was. It was something related to what I am going through right now. Then, I figured, "If GOD wants to tell me something, it will be something very clear. He won't be showing me in a dream that I can barely remember anything at all."
It bugged me. I called my primary doctor for a referral to have a second opinion. I totally lost my faith of my OBGYN. I can't trust anyone that he is going to send me to or any doctors associated with him.
This morning, we were running as crazy as we normally do. My son had a basketball game. I saw our pastor posted the daily devotion titled, "You Will Always Have What You Need in This Life if You Seek GOD First". As soon as I saw that title, I felt like GOD is trying to tell me something. The feeling just like the other day that HE tried to remind me once again to testify His work and glorify HIM.
I didn't have a chance to read through the entire article of the daily devotion until we came back home which was almost 1pm. "There was something. There was something. What is it?" I kept asking myself. I read it again. I couldn't figure it out. It bugged me. I remember asking GOD at least once, "Are YOU punishing me or do YOU want me to glorify YOU through this journey?" I still do not have that answer yet. But I am sure one way or the other, GOD wants to be glorified. This is for sure one of those moments.
Anyway, the daily devotion quoted a parable (Matthew 25:14-30) about a master gave out talents to 3 of his servants. One got 5 talents and he grew another 5. Another servant got 2 talents and grew another 2. The last servant was given a talent. He buried it and didn't do anything about it. It was not my first time to read this parable. But not until today, I finally understood what it meant.
Our church pastor always asks us if we use our gifts to serve GOD. Steve Harvey always encourages people to look for their gifts. "The gifts are not just running, singing and dance." My gifts are cooking and teaching. For years, Perry always tells me, "You have the gift to read people. You can pick it up just like that (snap of his fingers)" Heck, one of my best speeches I had ever given almost 10 years before was titled "How to read people in 5 minutes?" But I always do things against this gift. It got me into a lot of "troubles", such as loss of money, got pulled into some kind of "political" storms at work, etc. This similar conversation did come up on the way from the oncologist back to home with my husband. He reminded me once again not to ignore what I observed in the oncologist office. If my gut saying that it is a no, then it must be a no. We needed to find another oncologist.
Anyway, I have this gift. I can read people and tell if that person is trustworthy simply by a short phone call. The day when I met that oncologist, signs were everywhere that gave me doubts about her. Long story short, I have never talked to a doctor feeling like talk to a sales man in a car dealership instead.
It was that light-bulb moment that I knew what GOD tried to tell me through today's devotion. HE wants me to use my gift of reading people to help myself. Now that I know I can't trust that oncologist. While I am writing it, I know that HE wants me to use this gift to find another doctor that I can trust to make the right decision. That's why, "You Will Always Have What You Need in This Life if You Seek GOD First".
Don't ignore the tiny little gifts GOD gave you. Find it, Acknowledge it, Use it and Use it to serve and glorify HIM. Thank you, LORD, for your guidance through this journey.
I finally decided to call that hotline that Perry found the other day. After telling them my latest health issue, the representative scheduled me to talk to one of their registered nurses (RN) the day after.
Things moved quickly. I got to talk to the RN, Melinda. She was super nice and professional. She was very patient to listen to my story. The whole phone call lasted for more than an hour. During the call, she told me that I don't need to worry about paying $1,000 until I actually decided to go through that surgery. She promised to get me more info regarding hysterectomy and oncologists for second opinion.
By today's evening, I got a tons of files from Melinda already. There were even the latest research done by the American Cancer Society partnered with several other well-known health and medical organizations. After reading through all the files she sent over, I finally understood that my health issue is Cervical intra-epithelial neoplasia (CIN) which describes abnormal changes of the cells that line the cervix. The first biopsy result showed I was between level 2 and 3. The second biopsy result showed I moved down to level 1. In the article based on the research as mentioned above, CIN, as mild as the level I have can be treated with some procedures to remove the bad tissue. "Hysterectomy as primary treatment is not acceptable." said on the same article research done by the American Cancer Society and Melinda even highlighted that sentence for me.
Before the upcoming second appointment with that salesman-liked oncologist, Melinda got me 2 oncologists to review which will be for my second opinion.
Normally, I would go to my general practice to ask for the advice for next step. But the doctor who we have been seeing for over 20 years had to retire earlier than expected. The only advice I got from her was, "Don't drag you feet." I can't blame her because she has other things to deal with before her official retirement. This RN from the hotline plays a significant role in my journey. She is a godsend. (I will share the info of this organization later.) She talked to me about my concern, looked for different oncologists and OBGYNs. Melinda didn't let me drag my feet. Every time when she knows I have an upcoming appointment, she makes sure that she schedules an appointment with me to follow-up. A supporter is imperative. When you were in a situation like this, you just want to dig a hole and crawl right in and don't want to hear or see anything related to it. You don't want to deal with it. It is totally understandable. But the issue is still there. Therefore, a supporter, especially a professional one like Melinda, helps you and pushes you whenever you want to give up. If you were not able to find a professional like her, find someone you trust within your family and friend circle. Ask that person to be brutally honest with you and push you whenever he/she sees the situation fits.
Around 9:30am, I was ready for the follow-up appointment with the oncologist. So, she got on a video call with us and told me that there is NO cancer which was great. It was confirmed by her pathologist after reviewing my previous biopsy results. So, she suggested to have a small cone biopsy to clear out the abnormal cell. Or, I still can choose do the hysterectomy which I don't understand why I have to even entertain that idea. I guess it is more for her to make the big buck. Maybe since she messed up the first time we met, she wanted to stick with her original "diagnosis" or suggestion.
She said that I can also do the cone biopsy first and then do the hysterectomy later. She is fine either way. I asked her if I choose to do the cone biopsy, when I need to do it. She said that now. She even asked me to call her later that afternoon. Immediately after we finished our virtual meeting, Perry reminded me about my first impression of this doctor. My first impression of this oncologist was not good at all. Had he not reminded me about my first impression of this doctor, I would have let her to do my second cone biopsy. He said that if I decide to do it, I should have someone that I feel good about to do it, not her.
The first impression always tells you something. Stick to it. I have the tendency of not doing it or forgetting it. Thanks to my husband reminding me. I don't want you to make the same mistake I made throughout my life. So, make sure to listen to your gut. People, professional or not, would cover up or pretend to be something you want to see or hear in order to take advantage. I cannot confirm if this oncologist wanted to take the advantage of her patients, like me. But there has been something wrong since I stepped into her office. I decided to move on.
In the past few months, I learned a lot about my situation. However, I have been coming across the stumbling blocks several times to find another trustworthy oncologist to proceed. There are not many out there and I was warned about it.
Between the support from a relative, the RN, Melinda, and our then-retiring general doctor, I was advised to look for a new OBGYN and seek for the professional advice for the next step.
Throughout all these months, Perry and I have been actively praying to GOD for pouring the wisdom into me to make the right decision who I should choose as my next doctor. The registered nurse helped me did a lot of filtering of the professionals skill-wise and I had to make the final decision. Finally, I made one.
The RN did a tons of stuff for me. There were at least 10 doctors, oncologists and OBGYNs included, with the details of their specialties and ratings. But bear in mind, you are the one to make the final decision. That means you still need to put in work. Based on their ratings, I put together an easy spreadsheet to align all categories into one place which helps me to compare apple to apple. I searched those doctors online and looked at their pictures and patient comments. Many of them were filtered out because some of them gave me chills. You can easily find some on social media nowadays. There were times when I saw something online about a doctor that made my hair in the back stood up. If the gut feeling is not great, move on to the next one.
Yesterday, I went to see this new OBGYN, Dr. L. What amazed me was that he was the first doctor that read the tests and the results and drew a diagram date by date to show me why there were discrepancies in the previous biopsy results. I finally understood where those discrepancies came from.
He explained to me the 3 options that I have. What kind of tests that I need to go through with each option. He also told me if the result comes back as negative or positive, what the next step is supposed to be until I have to make the final decision of the hysterectomy that the previous oncologist urged me to do it the first few minutes we sat down and talked. I was councelled by the RN and a general practice within that same organization that when I see this new OBGYN, I must ask which oncologist I will be referred to if this is the path I have to go through. I was told that there were not many oncologists out there. And it was true. I was also very upfront with Dr. L that I do not want to go back to the previous oncologist and I do not trust her. So, Dr. L went ahead and told me who could possibly the oncologist and the one he trusted the most, Dr. T. The only thing was that Dr. T was in the same office with the previous oncologist. She left that clinic no more than 6 months before. The RN brought up several other oncologists and several of them were in the same clinic with the one I don't trust. It gave me a chill every time when I saw one.
There will be a few more tests in the next few weeks. I know I am not totally out of the wood yet. It has been very stressful the past few months. There were times that I couldn't focus during work. But I was finally snapped out of it and got back to my normal routine.
But I praised GOD guided me through these past few months and gave me the wisdom to make the right choice. I know HE will continue to guide me through this journey. I did learn the power of prayers. I also learned that He is testing me.
After the episode with my previous OBGYN and oncologist, I was very skeptical about seeing this new OBGYN, Dr. L. After the first few minutes, I was at ease with this doctor. He does not mind to repeat his explanations to me at least twice before moving on to the next topics. We are talking about the gut feeling again. Unlike last time, I didn't have doubt of this new doctor at all.
I had more tests today. My new OBGYN, Dr. L, ordered to have an internal ultra sound. After that, he performed a colposcopy. This is like a biopsy test but I would be conscious throughout the test. Before it, he explained to me the Pap test result, which was done 2 weeks ago, was normal. But the HPV level is very high which causes the high grade SIL. Then, he explained to me what he was going to do. He drew a diagram showing me that my uterus ultrasound result showing 2 fibroid. He said that it is very common for women at my age and he is not concerned. My uterus is bigger than normal. He said that when the cone biopsy was done, there should have been some scraping to clean up the infected area. He was going to do some more scraping. That was the first thing he did.
He was going to do the biopsy on my cervix, some on the lining of my uterus and a ECC which is from the channel. While he was doing it, he told me where he got the biopsy, 12 and 9 o’clock. He also did a 11 o’clock and decided to abandon it later. Then, he told me, “Because of your situation, I am doing a more extensive ECC.” Before the procedure, he told me that he would call me on the phone 2 weeks later to tell me the results and I will go back 3 months later to re-do the test. As soon as he finished the procedure, he said, “Let’s talk in person 2 weeks later instead of talking on the phone.”
Throughout the whole day of yesterday, I was not able to fathom of what happened. All I can say is that GOD is AMAZING and HE is in control.
The last few months was a long struggle to find the right doctor for second opinion. When I finally saw the new OBGYN, Dr. L, I was very upfront and asked him, "If somehow down the road that you need to refer me to an oncologist, who are you going to refer me to?" It was because a terrible experience of the first oncologist that I encountered. I was counseled to get this out of the way asap. Then, Dr. L told me the doctor that he trusts the most. He also warned me that if I am sent to this oncologist, Dr. T, the chance of being seen by him could be slim.
Since this is out of my control and I could only trust what my new doctor told me, I put this info in the back burner for almost a month.
Our general doctor retired in March who we had been seeing for last 20 years. We loved her so much. Around January, we were transferred to the new general doctor's office. But we will be seeing the nurse practitioner. There is an appointment coming up in June. Since some of my prescriptions were due for refill recently, this new doctor's office called late last week and told me that I had to come in to meet this nurse practitioner. Otherwise, they were not able to do the refill. As a result, I got to step into the office even though I will be seeing her in June.
There were times that I just wanted to cancel this appointment. While I was in that new clinic, I was thinking, "This is so crazy. They are going to charge me extra for this appointment and I still have to come back in June." When the nurse practitioner came in, she told me, "I didn't have any of your medical record. So, can you tell me anything you know?" It felt like nothing goes smoothly at that point. But I just told her everything, especially the latest issues and procedures that I went through.
Then, this is how it all rolled out. She said, "I understood how you feel because I had the similar issue like you do." I was shocked. I started to ask her if she had hysterectomy. She then shared with me in details her experience by being referred to Dr. T who was the same oncologist that my new OBGYN could possibly send me to. She told me how thorough that oncologist was. Her husband is a landscaper. So, Dr. T simplified it by using some words landscapers use in order to make it easy enough for her husband to understand. She was very happy of the hysterectomy done by Dr. T. She told me that if I really end up going to see an oncologist, push my new OBYN to ensure that I am seeing Dr. T because he was trustworthy. It felt like GOD just told me that this is the one.
At the end, the nurse practitioner told me that I could cancel my June appointment, except I see a need for it.
When I walked out of the office, I immediately called Perry and told him, "GOD is amazing." Throughout the whole day, I kept saying, "WOW! WOW!" I couldn't believe that how GOD did all that.
Perry and I have been praying several months for the wisdom and guidance from GOD of what my next step should be and which doctor I should pick. As much as I looked at all the doctors' resumes, background, did the internet search, their statistics and counseled by a RN, it was still like a blind man relying that white cane to go through every path.
When I didn't expect that, GOD just did the most wonderful thing. HE had this set up several months ahead of time even before we were got transferred to this nurse practitioner. GOD IS AMAZING!
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to HIM, and HE will make your paths straight.”
I went to see my new OBGYN today to review the biopsy result that he performed 2 weeks ago. This was the same procedure my previous OBGYN did. But this time, my new doctor, Dr. L, emphasized that he was going to do a more extensive one. The reason was because of the result from November 2021 showing high grade dysplasia (which was at a high risk level of cancer development).
I must give the credit to Dr. L that he had the nurse called me as soon as he got the result back. He originally told me that it would take 5-7 business to get the results. But 4 days later, his office called and confirmed that I am cancer free. (While my previous doctor promised that he would do that, he never did so until I went to see him in an appointment 3 weeks after.) Hurray! But there was more. That was the reason why I got to go to see Dr. L today.
So, he started out to review all my biopsy results from the very beginning. The first one was done in November 2021 which showed high grade dysplasia. The one in December 2021 (4 days before Christmas) was low grade. Then, I was sent to the oncologist who told me that I had to do the hysterectomy. At the time, she wanted me to sign the paper immediately. Had I done that I would have this major surgery done on Feb 28 (less than 3 months ago). But I didn't. I didn't like that doctor from the very beginning.
Anyway, Dr. L moved on to tell me the details of the biopsy results that he performed on Apr 29, 2022 (2 weeks ago). He said everything was negative. At first, I thought I heard him wrong. So, I specifically asked him, "Did you mean that the result still showed low grade dysplasia?" Dr. L said, "No, everything is negative. There was no evidence of dysplasia at all." Then, he proceeded to tell me that since the previous oncologist suggested the hysterectomy, he wants to send me to another oncologist to make sure that he did not miss anything. This part got tricky because the doctor he trusts and my new general doc recommended is the same person. But my record will be sent into a pool and wait for the "lucky draw". Dr. L told me that he can't control which doctor I will see. I do know that GOD will control this part.
I can't tell you how confident I was that GOD would take care of everything at that time. Since the experiences of the past few months, I had ZERO doubt that I would see other doctor, but the one my OBGYN and my new general practice recommended. Your faith will guide you through this. Put your faith and trust 100% into GOD's hand. HE will make it happen. Even though it may not happen the way you want, it will happen at HIS own time.
Habakkuk 2: 3 "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay."
Dr. L did say that the virus I got still need to be closely monitored. He is hoping that I will only need to see him every 3 months. If everything is good, it will eventually become an annual visit. This depends on the new oncologist recommendation.
When I was waiting for checking out of Dr. L's office, in the back of my mind, I kept thanking GOD, "Thank You, LORD! YOU are powerful." When I finally walked out of the building and got into the car, everything started to sink in. I am not a crier and rarely cry at all. But man, I sobbed and shook so hard because GOD did heal me. HE did perform the miracle on me. That was the exact prayer that Perry prays every day asking GOD to heal me cell by cell, from worst to everything showing negative. It was GOD giving me the wisdom and guide me to Dr. L. This is the way how our LORD shows HIS healing power. HE is in control. HE answers prayers.
Thank you for everyone your prayers in the last few months. I greatly appreciate if you can continue to pray for me going through the last hurdle.
THANK YOU, LORD, FOR YOUR HEALING HANDS! GLORY TO YOU, LORD! HALLELUJAH!
Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your GOD; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
“Congratulations!”, a sister at church gave me a big hug and said that during our greeting time this past Sunday. I looked at her wondering what that was for.
I know she saw in my eyes of that question. “You are healed.” That was her answer filled with excitement. I know what she referred to and I started to explain to her, “Well…the doctor told me that the disease I have will never go away….”
She interrupted me immediately and said, “Yes, you will. We have the GOD that we pray for.” Her eyes were on fire and truly believed that I was healed already. I winced and blamed myself, “She is absolutely right. The GOD that we worship can make anything possible. Why do I doubt it?”
Some of my friends and families knew that I had dysplasia about 2 years ago. I almost underwent a major surgery because of the advice from an oncologist. After several biopsies, the results came back showing I was clear from dysplasia. But I have to be under close medical monitor every 6 months.
While we were on vacation at the end of June, a phone call came from my doctor’s office and told me that I passed another biopsy. It was a HUGE relief because I was super stressed out the past few months.
Since that call, the LORD has been poking me to write something, post something to show HIS glory. I know I procrastinated. But deep in my heart, I know that I must do it. I confessed that I should have more faith. I am grateful our Almighty GOD being faithful and kept HIS promise.
“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In GOD, whose word I praise, in GOD I trust; I will not be afraid. What can moral man do to me?” Psalm 56: 3-4
You will receive many bills. They can be very overwhelming. I highly recommend you to keep a folder for this specific reason. Don’t be surprised that you will receive duplicate bills and charges. I got a duplicate charge for the same service on the same service date with different amount through which I had to call the provider to challenge them. They admitted their mistakes and I saved a few hundred dollars. At the same time, make sure to get the names down who you talked to on what date. Keep the bill for at least 6 months even though you were promised that you do not need to pay for it. Be mindful.
This tip I am going to share with you may not have any scientific research to prove it. But I felt like I should share it with anybody who may have the same health issue with me. Around January 2022, my mother-in-law gave me a bag of lemons. We only buy lemons for making lemonade. For sure, in upstate NY, January is never the time people think of lemonade. It is freezing cold. But for some reasons, they reminded me a post I saw online a few years back which was about lemon having the power to clear cancer. So then, I have been using a quarter of a lemon to juice it into my water every day. I truly don't know if I got any benefit of clearing my dysplatia. I do know that lemon is always well-known of cleansing. So, I have been sticking to this habit with me since then. Like I said, there is no proof out there that lemon is a cure. But it never hurts to try it with that kind of healthy ingredient which is within your reach with a very affordable price.
Christ our Healer - This is the sermon from our church pastor sharing more testimonies of how the LORD heals ALL. GOD's healing power is not limited to only physically, but also mentally and spiritually.
ConsumerMedical.com - This is covered by the insurance that we signed up and it is also where I met the registered nurse who counsel me throughout the entire journey. I understand that not everyone has this luxury. But I highly recommend to check with your employer and seek help. We didn’t know about this benefits until my husband dug deep. Other than speaking with the nurse, customer representatives and, sometimes, doctors, on the phone, you can also easily login and send a message over to ask for more info.
HERS Foundation - Here is the first website where I got my education of hysterectomy started. The material may be a bit old, especially the information about the procedure and surgery. But the effect of hysterectomy is still valid.
Hysterectomy: Exploring Your Options, The Information You Need for the Decisions You Face - The RN that I worked closely with sent me this book. There is plenty of latest info regarding this illness.
Here are some great books that I highly recommend.
The Action Bible (Comic Book) - If you have never read an entire Bible, this one is a great start. My son bought one and, next, I picked it up and read it, too. Don't worry about the age range listed here. Everybody is a child at heart.
The Kingstone Bible Trilogy (3 Volumes Comic Book Series) - This is the second set of Bible comic book series that I read along with my son before moving on to actually read the one in words. In a way, this is like an expansion of the one above to give it more details.
He Healed Them All: Accessing God's Grace for Divine Health and Healing - I stumbled upon this book after the last test showing GOD healed me. But surrounding with friends and families who are still suffering from serious illness, it made me want to understand more why it happened to them.
NIV, Chronological Study Bible: Holy Bible, New International Version - Born and raised in a Catholic family and went to Catholic schools throughout my whole life, I must admit that I had never gone through an entire Bible as much as this study Bible. The great thing about this version is that it shows some of the other historical facts and customs at the time to help you to understand more why the Word of GOD is in this way. It is a long read. But my strategy is 5-10 minutes at a time each day. Of course, you can expand the duration longer each time. The only thing I want to warn you though is that there are some pages that they made the Bible sounds like the content was copied from other authors at the time. I believe that it is the other way round. The other authors and their books copied from the Bible.
Jesus Calling, Large Text Brown Leathersoft, with full Scriptures: Enjoying Peace in His Presence (a 365-day Devotional) - I got this book on my son's 14th birthday. Little did I know that we need these words for us a few days after. My son lost his 4-year-old dog 5 days later suddenly. He had a hard time to deal with the loss and grief of his first pet. We all relied on these words to pick ourselves up little by little. There are many versions and sizes of this same book out there. I particularly love this one because it lists out all the scriptures which prevents me from looking them up from a separate Bible. The feel of the leather gives me a peace of calm.
Please come back for more updates of my journey, lessons learn and references where you can find help.